Sunday, January 1, 2017

New Year, New Focus

I totally skipped over 2016, there was not a single blog post. I realize in looking back that in a lot of ways 2016 was a whirlwind, but in terms of blogging, I derailed again on food and exercise and that left me feeling like didn't have anything to talk about here.

So I'm beginning again, but this time with new focus. I've spent a lot of the last year working on self-care, dumping old bad habits (hey, codependency), and trying to modify my behaviors and actions in relation to how I function in the world. Reduce my anxiety. It's getting better.

Last night I had friends over for NYE, a couple, T and P, and we were talking about new year's resolutions and T has always had the practice of giving her year a theme instead of making a single resolution and I just love that. I did it last year and my theme was art every day, which I was largely successful at, only a few missed days here and there and I can see how it elevated my skill. In the process, I fell in love with watercolor and have spent countless hours on that.

This year's theme is going to be about making space. I have been slowly purging my physical space (home) and holy crap, have purged a ton and still have so much more. I don't think a truly minimalist lifestyle is for me, but I do want to have fewer things to care for so I can increase the time I have in my schedule for things I love. That's what making space is going to be about for me. Whether it's relationships that are no longer relevant or working, things taking up too much space and time, or whatever it is I need to let go or move out of the way to make space, that's where my focus will be. I want more time for art, family, friends, and pet projects.

This year I also plan to make space for job hunting. I've been in the same job for 8+ years and I'm ready for a new challenge. I plan to stay at the same place, just look outside my division for a better fit. Job hunting feels like this monumental task right now, but I know it will be a worthwhile endeavor and hopefully will make way for new challenges and a more fulfilling role. I've been beating my head against the wall in my current division trying to redefine my role and adjust perceptions to something that more accurately reflects my skills, but the reality is that I've been pigeon-holed and the culture of our department is not to promote from within. Time to quit hitting my head with a hammer, embrace the fear of a new place, and give it a whirl. I won't know if I don't try.

So going forward this space will be a journal of sorts, a place to record the teeny victories along the way toward making space and whatever else is going on.

This morning I hung three pictures and removed several nails in the wall that had nothing hanging on them -- the result of rearranging furniture. It took five minutes and this teeny little task has been on my to-list for months. What is it about humans that we tend to avoid or procrastinate about the silliest things, or is it just me?


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