Changes

Somehow six months went by without me writing a darn thing. I blame Netflix and HuluPlus. I have become a full-blown addict. I have watched every episode of Six Feet Under, Parks & Rec, Scandal, The Mindy Project, New Girl, and about 1.5 seasons of The L Word. Enough is enough. Time for a TV fast. Today is day 2 of 7. I might go longer. I only missed it for a few minutes last night and then I was over it. I'm pretty sure my sleep will improve because I'm certain that falling asleep watching TV cannot be good if one hopes to get quality sleep, plus I easily convince myself to stay awake a few minutes longer so I can finish an episode. It's a slippery slope! I used to not spend so much time watching TV. I'm not sure what happened. Since I didn't spend my down time glued in front of the TV yesterday I got a ton of stuff done. In fact, I was so tired I went to bed at 10. That's pretty unheard of for me. Usually I'm pushing it to midnight or so to watch whatever I'm currently hooked on.

Over the past few months I've been working on eating habits and increasing my exercise. I've been cooking more, eating more veg, and have developed an insatiable appetite for spicy and sour food.  I recently made picked red onion and it was THE BOMB.

Lentil salad, turkey burger with Swiss, and pickled red onion.

I've been also been faithfully logging on MyFitnessPal for 90+ days and it's definitely helping my awareness. I don't have a very good sense of what I'm eating unless I track but I think that's getting better, too. Initially I was always hungry and trying to figure out how to squeeze out a few extra calories. Now, many days I leave calories on the table. I go over now and again too, but usually nothing major. I think the overall picture looks good. I'm also working on being OK with imperfections in this area. In the past I would chastise myself for not achieving 100% success and soon I would find myself discouraged and give up. Now I try to think something more along the lines of "pretty good day" or "meh, not your best day, there's always tomorrow." I am trying to give myself the same freedom to be a human as I would my friends. I would never scold a friend for a night's indulgence or one too many trips for froyo. I would tell them to dust off and try again. So far I've lost about 20 pounds. Same goes for the scale. I had a couple weigh-ins where I had gained a few. Instead of freaking out about what a loser I am I told myself, "oh well, try to be a bit more conscientious next week and see what happens. The most important thing is being healthy, not what the scale says." Inevitably, the couple pounds disappeared without me being a total bitch to myself. Usually the only thing I needed to adjust was increasing my water intake. I tend to be bloaty by nature and not drink enough water. Easy enough fix.

On the exercise front I've been trying new things. Historically I have generally not been a fan of any sort of exercise other than maybe yoga. I just wrapped up an water exercise class that I really enjoyed. I've tried Zumba a few times with the BFF. Tomorrow I'm trying a yoga class at a studio I've not visited before. I'm trying to stay open and see what happens. My friend Kelly even promised to teach me to throw and catch so I can try out softball next year (a friend asked me to play this year). It's unlikely I'll become a hardcore athlete but it feels good to move my body and get around a bit easier. I've noticed that stairs are much easier than they were a few months ago. After knee surgery last summer my knee got very weak and it was really hindering my comfort in doing a lot of activities. Slowly things have started to improve. I've been walking a lot and taking the stairs when it's practical and sometimes just for a few extra steps. Oh! I got a Fit Bit. I <3 it. It's made such a huge difference in being able to gauge my activity for the day. I have a 6k daily goal and being able to see progress throughout the day really helps me plan my day. Since I work on a college campus it's pretty easy to find an excuse to walk somewhere most days. Lately it's been pretty damn hot for lunch time walking but I can still sneak in a few extra steps in the tunnels and by weaving in and out of buildings. Next up, I'm going to dust off my bike and take it for a spin.

What have you been up to this summer?

Oh, Hai

Hi there friend, it's been a while. So much has happened...

The Good:

I got a Kick Ass Award! I am now the proud owner of a very tall trophy of a dude kicking a donkey's ass an was honored to be counted among a lot of really fucking awesome people in St. Louis. I'll be honest, I missed most of my introduction because I was so busy jumping up and down like a Price is Right contestant. Something about nice...community...helping others. Who cares! I haven't gotten a trophy since 3rd grade and everyone on the bowling team got one.

There have been foster kitties. 

Tallulah and Blueberry got adopted on xmas eve!

Then this little lady made her way into our life...meet Chryssi, the sweetest little bug-eyed kitty you ever did see! At a mere 10 ounces, Chryssi had been living in a hobo's coat in the freezing cold surviving on peanut butter sandwiches and beer. She's got funny eyes, but she's healthy and super snuggly! #beersaaveslives

1 lb. 4 ounces of fluffball love!

Also, Chryssi made it in the Riverfront Times. She's totally famous.

The not-so-good:

I lost two very dear friends this winter. First Judy, then Diane. Both were older and both had long lists of medical problems. Many, many tears were shed.

First, Judy. We have been friends for 17 years. We worked together for about eight of them. She was one of the smartest people I've ever known. I really do think she knew just about everything. Most of all she loved her family, beagle puppies, and the NYT crossword puzzle. She loved me and I loved her. We adopted each other long ago. Bon Voyage, Mama Judy. I miss you every day.

Mama Judy being adorable like always.

Sweet Diane. Truly a gem in so many ways. She was one of the kindest and loveliest people I've ever known. We worked together for several years before she retired and she was loved by staff and students alike. Her legacy is encouragement. Even when her illnesses were seemingly getting the best of her, she always looked forward, encouraged others, and expressed gratitude. Her light still shines bright. 

Diane helped celebrate my Grump Cat themed 40th birthday!

My sweet Mr. Wobbles got ill and I had to make the decision to let him go. He was a good buddy for over a decade and my own personal teddy cat. I miss him constantly.

Wobbz had the best fur, so soft and velvety!

All in all it's been a crazy few months. This last week or so has been consumed with homeless winter outreach. It's a regular winter gig for me, but we had some really severe winter weather and it's been more challenging than usual. It continues to be rewarding, but also very cold and super exhausting. To add some fun to the mix a pipe burst and my heat went out in the same 24 hours resulting a big soggy mess in the basement and no water for 48 hours. Mercifully, the heat was fixed the same day. Oh, the drama.

So some shit has happened, people. Grief and challenges aside, things are still relatively "good." I have an awesome kid, lovely friends, a warm bed to sleep in (with a fancy new electric blanket, thanks Santa!), a roof over my head, a job I mostly like, and lots of sweet furry animals to snuggle. Really, things are pretty ok. My therapist lady says I should journal so I'm going to bring this blog back from the dead and make a more regular appearance. The focus is changing though. I'm just going to see where the mood takes me and not worry about focusing on any particular topic. That's just where I'm at today -- a little all over the place.